Chapter 9: Paradox lost
...... In the morning light from the window of
subdorm-8, Alex checked how he looked in his just borrowed clothes. "You
know," he said, "grey shorts look a lot better than brown."
...... Kip chuckled. "ESAP has RFID readers
at the classroom doors to take attendance. I don't think Amdexter has them.
But if they did, then whenever you went into class, you'd be me. I could be
in two places at once."
...... "No you couldn't," said Wolfgang.
"Not unless he wears your underwear and shirt too. All the tags have to
match."
...... "I'll just borrow the shorts, thank
you," said Alex.
...... "Keep 'em for a few days, if you want,"
said Kip, hand-licking his hair into submission. "Maybe we can convert
you to being a physicist like us."
...... Paul seemed startled.
...... "Really?" said Alex. "I can
keep them for a few days?"
...... "Sure. Laundry pick up is Sunday night,
so you can keep 'em until then."
"I've heard of conversion by the sword," said Paul, staring down at
his book-bag into which he was stuffing the texts for his morning classes. "But
this is the first time I've heard of conversion by the shorts." Closing
his bag with a flourish, he looked across at Kip and announced, "And, as
for being a physicist like us, I don't intend to be a physicist."--Kip
and Wolfgang jerked their heads to stare at him--"I'm going to be a mathematician."
...... "Really?" Wolfgang appeared almost
stunned. "Why on Earth would you want to do that?"
...... "Because...." Paul pressed his
lips together, pausing, as if reluctant to expose himself to ridicule. "Because
mathematics is perfect," he blurted out. "Logical. Beautiful."
He stood as if at attention. "If physics were like that, there wouldn't
need to be an ESAP."
...... "Does Dr. Ralph know," said Wolfgang
in a serious voice.
...... Paul lowered his eyes, his rigid posture
weakening to a slouch. "I don't know," he said in a small voice.
...... "Maybe you should go see him."
Kip chuckled, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe he can cure you."
...... But Paul stayed somber. "Maybe I should
talk to him about it. Maybe I shouldn't have been allowed to go to ESAP."
...... "Don't be ridiculous," said Wolfgang.
"Mathematics is almost as important as physics."--Alex could tell
that Wolfgang didn't really believe that.--"Anyway, mathematicians should
study physics too."
...... Kip hefted his book bag. "Come on.
Let's go to breakfast."
...... Due to his borrowed clothes, Alex felt
entitled to eat with the greys. And he did so. After breakfast, Alex continued
to pal around with the greys until the start of classes. Logically, he knew
he should have gone back to his dorm to switch back to his own clothes, and
be a brown again. But I really like being a grey.
...... Late in the afternoon, Alex did head back
to his dorm to change. But he could still pretend to be a grey; after classes,
kids were expected to change out of their school clothes. His attire wouldn't
give him away.
...... As Alex padded into his dorm row, he was
glad to see he had it almost to himself. Only Woodchuck was there. It was funny
how he'd begun to think of Charles Wood as Woodchuck--and even thought of him
as sort of a cartoon woodchuck: big teeth, eager expression, sort of pudgy.
Funny how a nickname can define a person. Alex wondered if that's what
Kip meant when he said 'the map is not the territory'.
...... "Why are you wearing grey shorts?"
said Woodchuck as Alex changed out of them. "Are you transferring to ESAP?"
...... I wish! Alex rubbed a hand down the
side of the flannel shorts, as if he could absorb greyness through his hand.
"Well, my IQ results had just come in, and...and they say I'm smart enough
for ESAP." He took a quick breath and rushed on. "And my dad said
I should enroll there. But I told him I didn't want to because I didn't want
to be a scientist."
...... "Wow!" said Woodchuck with wide
trusting eyes.
...... "My dad said to just wear grey shorts
for awhile," Alex went on. "He said maybe that would get me to change
my mind."
...... "I hope you don't," said Woodchuck.
"You're my only friend here--and I really hate Todd. He's a bully."
...... "Yeah," said Alex. "I hate
him, too."
...... "Did you hear about his new business?"
Woodchuck glanced at Todd's locker. "I don't mean his selling stuff."
...... Alex shook his head.
...... "Now he says kids can just pay money
instead of doing punishment lines. He's charging a dollar for each ten lines."
...... Alex threw a glance at the ceiling.
...... "It's true," Woodchuck insisted.
"He's getting ESAP kids to do the lines. He said ESAP kids are dirt poor.
They need the money. They're so poor, they're happy to copy lines for money."
...... "I wonder how much of that money winds
up in Todd's pocket."
...... "Probably a lot." In jeans now,
Alex grabbed his notebook, waved to Woodchuck, and went outside. Not that he
really had anywhere to go.
...... Clutching his notebook as a shield, Alex
meandered to the carousel. He checked his watch: 45 minutes to lunch. Then he
sought out Bucephalus, opened his notebook and began to draw.
...... A little later, alerted by hunger, Alex
hurried to the Founders refectory, and got there twenty minutes late. He could
still eat, and did, but it meant he'd missed his new friends; subdorm-8 tended
to wolf down their food and run. Werewolf down their food.
...... After lunch, Alex strolled over to the playing
fields. He wasn't interested in any of the sports or games going on. For the
first two weeks of school, as the athletics schedules were not yet in place,
Saturday games weren't compulsory. He wandered around, bored and lonely--and
then thought he might try to hang out in the ESAP snack bar. A lot of ESAP kids
had seen him in grey shorts. Maybe that alone would get him in.
...... The snack bar was crowded. Alex walked in
and nobody questioned him. But nobody talked to him, either. His subdorm-8 friends
weren't there. He shrugged at the sign SNACK/2p, went to a vending machine and,
surprised that it was free, got an apple. Then he sat down and worked on his
Bucephalus drawing. He sketched a kid on its back. He drew slowly, immersing
himself in the rich, well-populated world he'd created with his pencil.
...... "Hey, look, Wolfy."--Alex looked
up and saw Kip and Wolfgang coming to his table--"He's hanging out at Snack
Bar." Kip chuckled. "I guess conversion by shorts works." Kip
waved a greeting.
...... "Maybe it's just the free snacks,"
said Wolfgang. Then he called out, "Hi."
...... "Hi!" Alex snapped closed his
notebook. "But where's Paul. I thought you guys traveled as a unit."
...... "A unit," said Kip. "Cool.
Like a system of identical particles. Effectively interchangeable." He
and Wolfgang sat.
...... "Paul's in a meeting with Dr. Ralph,"
said Kip, "confessing to having mathematician tendencies, I think."
...... "Dr. Ralph?" said Alex.
...... "Like your school's headmaster,"
said Wolfgang.
...... "Hey wait," said Kip, glancing
toward the door. "The unit is again complete."
...... Alex turned and saw Paul plodding slowly
toward them. He seemed downcast, his expression serious, his head canted slightly
downward.
...... "I wonder what's wrong," said
Kip, just above a whisper.
...... "Maybe," said Wolfgang, "Dr.
Ralph said ESAP is only for physics kids."
...... Kip gave an 'I don't know' shrug.
...... Paul reached their table and plopped into
a seat.
...... "Does Dr. Ralph have a problem with
you wanting to be a mathematician?" said Wolfgang.
...... "No, it's not that." Paul stared
down at the table. "He said that mathematics is, like, great and there's
often not much of a difference between mathematicians and theoretical physicists."
...... "Then why," said Kip, "do
you look as if a dragon just breathed fire on your calculus book?"
...... Alex smiled at the comment. Paul didn't.
...... "Dr. Ralph agreed with me that physics
is messy," said Paul. "But he said that mathematics isn't perfect,
either. He told me the hangman's paradox and he said he'd have Dr. Linda talk
to me. She'll teach me a much more important paradox, the Russell Paradox."
...... "I've never even heard of the hangman's
paradox?" said Wolfgang. "What is it?"
...... "Okay," said Paul. The word seemed
like a switch--extinguishing Paul's melancholy. "I'll tell you."
(For Paul's explanation
of the Hangman's Paradox, click here)
...... After describing the paradox, Paul shook
his head, slowly. "I'm like really worried about the paradox Dr.
Linda is going to show me tomorrow."
...... "Why is it so important to you?"
said Alex.
...... Paul looked up, his eyes were bright, maybe
even moist. "I believe in mathematics. It's...it's sort of my religion."
...... Alex wanted to laugh but knew enough not
to.
...... Just then, Dr. Ralph himself rushed into
Snack Bar. He went to the front, raised his hands for quiet, and made an announcement.
"Guys, I need your help." He spoke in a worried voice. "Paradox
has escaped from the dorm. I'd really appreciated it if you'd go out and help
search the grounds for him."
...... Alex leaned in over his table. "Paradox?"
he whispered.
...... "Our dorm cat," said Kip.
...... The boys expressed sympathy and an eagerness
to help, and Dr. Ralph laid out a plan. "...and spread out," he said
at the end. "He's afraid of crowds."
...... The boys in Snack Bar headed for the door,
subdorm-8 and Alex included.
...... "If you find him," called Dr.
Ralph to the departing boys, "bring him here. This'll be our command post."
...... As they emerged into the sunlight, Alex
suggested, "Maybe we should get some of the Amdexter kids to help."
...... "If Dr. Ralph had wanted them to,"
said Kip, coldly, "he would have asked them."
...... "Okay," said Alex, pointing in
the direction of the Amdexter buildings, "I'll hunt over there. I know
the territory." He hoped his eagerness would show that he was worthy to
be an ESAP hunter.
...... "Sounds good," said Kip as the
unit dispersed.
...... Alex cut across the Heisenberg Commons and
then swept around the front of Founders, then through the overgrown grass between
Founders and the chapel. It could easily have hidden a cat. Alex shuffled his
way through making noise. He sang since it felt less silly than repeatedly calling
out 'here Paradox'. He swung around the back of Founders and then trod diagonally
across the Founders Quad. But the quad was so well manicured and orderly that
even a cat couldn't have gone unnoticed. Alex slipped between the corner of
his own dorm and the gymnasium and out to the parking lot. Still no cat.
He noticed a little shed just outside the lot and padded over to it. He wasn't
so much looking for Paradox now as wondering what the shed was for.
...... Just then he saw a slink of fawn-white against
the green grass. Paradox! Alex froze. The cat had come from behind the
shed. Paradox stopped and looked over his shoulder at the shed. The cat seemed
as curious as Alex about the metal structure with its high window and keypad
combination lock.
...... "Paradox," Alex said in a soft
voice.
...... The cat swiveled his head toward Alex but
didn't come to the boy. Alex took a slow step forward. The cat held its ground.
Alex continued forward and then swooped up the cat in his arms and hugged him.
The cat purred. He seemed glad to have been found.
...... "Yeah, cat," said Alex. "I
know. It's just the way I felt when I ran away from home."
...... Alex ran his cheek over the cat's soft fur
and again felt envy of ESAP. Slowly, all the time petting the cat, Alex walked
to Feynman Hall.
...... As he drew close, kids saw him and what
he carried. Many called out congratulations and all of them followed him back
to Snack Bar.
...... Dr. Ralph was pacing when Alex arrived.
"Oh, you found him."--Alex transferred the cat to him--"Thank
you. Thank you a lot." Dr. Ralph then looked at Alex quizzically. "You're
not one of us." Then he smiled. "Are you?"
...... As Alex tried to think of a response, Kip
piped up. "He's a guest. His name's Alex Griffen."
...... Dr. Ralph, holding Paradox, chuckled. "A
very welcome guest. I'm pleased to meet you, Alex Griffen."
...... Alex gave a sad smile.